We are not alone!

So this last weekend we went to a meet up to meet a local author named Harley. She lives close to us and her oldest child Gabriel has SPD. I am telling you I feel like I poured it all out on the table with her, she understands, she knows SO MUCH about SPD and she was so very helpful as well as the owner of Sensory Planet, Carrie Fannin. They gave me LOTS of information to read and help to learn about Jason's SPD issues. I really almost burst a little, when I introduced myself, Sacha and Jason, to 0Harley, who has read my blog recognized Jason and his cute little glasses, but she also knew so much detail. She really paid attention to our blog and I almost cried a little. ( Emotional day!) I wanted to cry a few times hearing how we are not alone, we are not the only one's dealing with the screams, the biting ourselves (new thing!) our freak outs at animals ( Jason HATES THE ZOO!) freak outs about new smells or foods. I felt a inner peace knowing that I have people I can turn to and say HELP ME. I really need to and will be getting more involved with the website Sensory Planet and getting to know other SPD mom's. I just feel it in my bones that this is where I need to be headed for all the help we can get!

We got some great news, Jason is "graduating" from eating therapy, and there is a space for him very close to our home for Sensory Integration therapy! YEAH!!! Jason has gained weight is eating a little better, he has his days, like today when all he wanted is milk and 2 bites from a fruit bar, but for the most part he is eating. He LOVES chicken teriyaki but really loves it from chop sticks! He still loves his french fries, but also loves crunchy things. He is not a big one on fruits and veggies but we have found ways to "hide" them in food or smoothies! Ahhh calories!

So here we are, we have learned a lot, have so much more to learn but one day at a time one step at a time one mistake at a time. Jason has progressed very well with his glasses, they are on about 90% of the time! Funny story, Jason and I were at a play date, he was happily playing on the jungle gym walking all over I see him going back and forth on the bridge to the slide, smiling and glasses on, the next trip across the bridge, NO GLASSES! I go running over ( They were expensive!) and a little boy had taken Jason's glasses off his face and was trying to put them on his own face! Jason was pulling at them like Hey those are mine!!! I was able to rescue the stolen glasses, clean them a bit and put them back on the correct child's face, Jason actually smiled when I put them back on like these are mine dude, back off! It was funny!

Pictures will be next time, it has been a long week, Sacha was on a business trip, and while i have taken pictures I have not edited or even downloaded them!
Happy reading and thanks again for the support, again my mantra, One Day at a time, One Step at a time, One Mistake at a time and we will be fine!!!

Playing

Jason has changed by leaps and bounds since he got his dreaded glasses! He has started to talk SO MUCH MORE! In the 2 weeks since we got the spec's he has started to say All Done, Good Job and Uh-Oh! He also now just says deedle deedle deedle over and over. He also has started to say Baby and Hi a lot more. The glasses are a big part of things! So now we make a BIG game out of putting them on, 1! 2! 3! gooooooooooo and on they go!

Jason has tried to get rid of them once or twice too! He threw them at the grocery store and we had to backtrack to find them under a shelf where he tossed them! But the sleuth in mommy remembered when she heard a plunk, thinking she kicked a coin, nope it was the glasses being tossed! ahhhhh Jason's plot was foiled again!

Jason is now wearing them to the park, on play dates, and all over the house. In about 2 weeks we went from HECK NO I am not wearing those to hey ok let me try to put them on! Upside down and backwards but he is trying!

Jason is also learning to put his pants on ( and off) he loves it!

The only issue with this is he can take his pants off when we do not want him to and has done so once, while he was supposed to be sleeping, he removed his pants, his diaper and well I will let your imagination go to what he did with no diaper on, lets just say mommy and daddy had to clean his WHOLE CRIB!

So now Jason is getting more confident in things, he climbs the steps to the slide now, walks around the play area and goes down the slide all by himself! Sorry no pictures of this as I am having to catch him at the bottom of the slide! But he is helping in other ways we can take pictures of, he learned he can help daddy drive! See the comparison pictures of Jason helping Daddy drive right at 6 months to now at 22 months!

The Blame Game

This post is not from Jason's point of view, it is a break from the posts about Jason. While Jason is the center of Sacha's and my life, he is very important to every one in our family and I would hope to some of our friends. We are all busy with our own lives and it is hard to "deal" with a child who does not "fit the norm" and many people either choose not to deal with it, meaning friendships lost, which is sad, or know everything about it and decide that they know best and it is nothing to worry about, or lastly they take the blame for Jason's issues on themselves. Please do not blame yourself, ANYONE, this could not have been prevented. Every child has his or her quirks, and yes every child goes through phases where they freak out over horses, chickens, goats, wind, or anything for that matter. It is when that freak out changes the way that child lives his or her life there is a issue.
Sensory Processing Disorder is a real thing, it is not something to be "ignored", it makes children as young as Jason make the terrible 2's look like the world is ending over simple touch, smell, feel. Then add in the eye issues and it is all very confusing to a young person. Sacha and I are working on this as much as we can, it is a hard thing, it is hurtful to us both that our child is suffering from things he can not understand. Yes he displays simple toddler behaviour, and yes I run to him when he starts a melt down because we have seen first hand if they are not stopped what it can turn into. To most that see Jason "melt down" they think toddler or parenting issue or hey let that kid out of the bubble, let him fall, let him get hurt, let him get dirty. Trust me when I say we do all those things in the comfort of our own home where he knows where he is and all the things around him but in public when he starts to clinch his fist, turn bright red, and scream bloody murder, it is anything but pleasant and it ends up with Jason shaking all over and his mommy crying and begging for him to calm down. Crying is not the answer, it freaks him out more, but at times I can not stop the tears! I know I need to try harder at that but hey, we are all learning together about this.
Jason was a miracle from the start, we struggled to have him, many of you know this some of you do not, Jason should have had 6 siblings. Yes you read right, 6 pregnancies that failed for horrible reason's I will not go into now because frankly this blog is about Jason not the "what could have been", but I bring it up because of this. I can say Sacha and I are angry! We are angry that we struggled, we lost so much, we fought so hard when so many told us, just stop trying, adopt, there are so many children who need a good home. I was told I should understand that being adopted myself, and we, Sacha and I agree with that and had always planned on adopting once we had our own child. We still think about it now since we can not have any more children of our own. Then along came our Washington baby. Wow, what a surprise, and he was great! Growing like he should, no problems with Downs Syndrome like had been feared from past history, he was great. He came early, to early, and we were warned there may be issues! That is why we are angry, we thought we had suffered enough, we thought, hey maybe just maybe we will have a easy baby just cause of all the past issues. Nope just the opposite, sick a lot, late to roll over, late to crawl, late to walk, and now at 22 months and not talking well, you know, late to talking. We both wonder WHY??? WHY is this happening? How do we deal with it? What help can we get Jason? and WHY? It seems so unfair, so upsetting, so wrong!!! But we love this child, so very much, we love him when at 22 months he still does not sleep through the night all the time, when at 22 months he can not always feed himself or eat at all. When at 22 months he would rather crawl around the house then walk, when at 22 months he can not talk to us and even say hi mommy. We love him, not because we have to, but because in this world there was not a more wanted baby, a more needed child, and not a more prayed for child to come into our lives.
So no blame is given with this disorder! None what so ever to anyone, it is what it is. Sacha and I ask you all to love Jason for who he is, love him the way he is and to support us as we learn about this disorder. SPD comes in many forms, some are milder then others, some are more severe, and some is related to Autism. Our child so far is not related to Autism, praise the Lord, could it go there? Yes we are told it could, will it? No way of knowing yet, Jason is to young to know for sure. Does it matter? In some way's yes, for Jason's sake, but in the eye's of those who care for Jason no it should not, he is still the beautiful boy from Bothell Washington that everyone oooooh'd and ahhhhh'd over. We hope even though he is not the cute baby stage anymore you all still ooooooh and ahhhh over him like his parents do!
Thanks,
a heartbroken set of adoring parents

Darn I am cute............ or so I keep being told

Soooo, Jason and his glasses are getting to be friends. He wears them more and more, today we had success in the car, at a play date, at lunch, at the grocery store and at home. We are on day 3 of glasses and yippee he seems to be wearing them about 80% of the time! Mommy decided we needed to show the guy that first put the glasses on Jason what a big boy he was and we went in to see him. Glenn the glasses guy, adjusted Jason's glasses and Jason even helped put them back on!
Jason also ventured out with his mommy to a play date today with 6 other kids from infant to toddler to beyond preschool. Jason is not the best "sharer" in the world but he is getting better! Where we went was great, nice safe play room in someones house with every toy known to man and the best thing of all, HORSES! I have not seen Jason light up like that in a LONG LONG time! He kept squealing Dooogies, no honey not doggies, horsie! But he was squirming in my arms, and reaching out to them. It was suggested that we look into therapy sessions with horses, it really helps little people with some sensory issues and developmental delays. I had heard that in the past but I was a) in denial that my son had "issues" and developmental delays ( yes his mommy is a little nutty at times) and b) thought it may be to much for him at such a young age, ( mommy fear he may get hurt, got to burst the bubble he lives in sometime!) so we are going to look into it! I mean he was excited to see the horses run and play!
Now my wonder boy is sleeping off all the afternoon excitement. While mommy blogs and does other around the house things.
Slowly we as a family are starting to come around and understand just what Sensory Processing Disorder is, how to deal with it and understand it is OK for us to say we have a "special" child. Every child is special, every person has special qualities but not every child is as special as ours is. So if one day you see us in a restaurant, and our wonder boy is screaming a blood curdling scream while clinching his fists and turning red, please know it is not bad parenting, or lack of discipline, it is "special needs" showing through. We are working hard on the screams, the fist pumping, and the frustration Jason is having. We are getting better at making him watch us and watch the simple sign language we are using to help Jason communicate. So if you see us, hey. stop by, say hi, tell Jason how cute he is in his glasses, he can never seem to get enough flirting or attention and know that as parents we are doing the best that we can. We need the love, we need the support and we know the screams are loud! TRUST US! We are a lot closer to them then you are when they go off! Any suggestions are taken and applied if we can!
Thank you for continuing to read about Jason and his cuteness, his challenges he is facing and letting his parents get their hurt, confusion and frustrations out via this blog! It really does help the one who is behind the keyboard which for the most part is his Mommy but Daddy helps too!
Happy weekend to you all and remember once again you may hear a screaming child no matter where you are, the parents for the most part are more frustrated and mortified with the screams then you are or you think they are, if they are decent parents at all!

tramatic day for Jason and his Parents

The day I have been dreading for a week was here today. My precious one got his glasses and true to my fears Jason was very upset with the glasses on his face. Not only did it change his eyesight to something he is not used to it caused issues with his sensory processing disorder. Jason is very sensitive to touch and things on his face. This caused a landslide of issues from freaking out in the bath tub when the bath scrubby touched him to just getting his clothes on. It is a hard thing to watch your child scream from something he does not understand. He kept trying and succeeding at taking or more like ripping his glasses off his face.

His glasses are quite thick and a very strong prescription, both Sacha and I looked through them and while I need and wear glasses I was very suprised at the strength of his glasses. I would have freaked out too if I was Jason. He has gotten used to seeing things fuzzy and we thing at times in double vision and to see them "correctly" for the first time scared him. Poor baby is sleeping now but it is a restless sleep, and he is crying in his sleep quite a bit. Quite tramatic for him to say the least!

Keep Jason in your prayers, he does not talk yet, and can not tell us he is scared, that you can see from his reaction. While Jason understands so much of what we say to him and responds by doing the things we ask him to do, he can not say NO MOMMY he just violently shakes his head and grabs at his face. We are having to hold his hands down away from his face which is also very upsetting to our precious child, because he is a self soother via thumb sucking. I am terrified he will not trust his mommy and daddy much more due to all the appointments we are taking him to. He does not understand that this is all for his own good and he will thank us later in life when he can see and his eye's are strong!

Glasses???!!!

Yes you read correctly, we are starting to get to the bottom of some of Jason's developmental delays and piece of the puzzle could be our wonderful, beautiful, rambunctious toddlers eyes! Poor baby boy is having a issue with his left eye actually crossing. His right eye may be next and we have been told that this will last through puberty and if we can get him to wear his glasses it very well may correct itself. There is a surgical procedure he can have at some point that will correct it if it does not correct it's self but we have to let things do what they are going to for now, Jason is to little for the surgical procedure and with his eyes just starting to cross it would be a mute point they may keep crossing..... so or precious little guy will have glasses next week when they are ready. The hard part is getting him to wear them! He hates anything on or near his face, he will not wear sun glasses, or hats. They have said they may have to use arm restraints on his little arms to keep the glasses on if he keeps taking them off. It will teach him that he needs them on, the issue with that is he is a major thumb sucker and that is how he calms himself down............. we shall see. I was told that once he understands they will help him see he may leave them alone! So..... another piece of the mystery of Jason is understood and we are on the path of getting him all the help we can! We are thankful for the wonderful insurance Sacha gets with Microsoft and I am praising God that we have been successful in finding some of the pieces of the puzzle that are upsetting my precious gift from God! We pray that we continue on the path of getting Jason to eating,and talking! He really is a wonderful happy little guy and the absolute apple of mommy and daddy's eye!

Happy Easter to you all, we are excited to celebrate the Resurrection of Christ this weekend at our Church then off to a wonderful Brunch on Sunday for Easter and my birthday, one year closer to 40!!!!!!!!!!!!