The Blame Game

This post is not from Jason's point of view, it is a break from the posts about Jason. While Jason is the center of Sacha's and my life, he is very important to every one in our family and I would hope to some of our friends. We are all busy with our own lives and it is hard to "deal" with a child who does not "fit the norm" and many people either choose not to deal with it, meaning friendships lost, which is sad, or know everything about it and decide that they know best and it is nothing to worry about, or lastly they take the blame for Jason's issues on themselves. Please do not blame yourself, ANYONE, this could not have been prevented. Every child has his or her quirks, and yes every child goes through phases where they freak out over horses, chickens, goats, wind, or anything for that matter. It is when that freak out changes the way that child lives his or her life there is a issue.
Sensory Processing Disorder is a real thing, it is not something to be "ignored", it makes children as young as Jason make the terrible 2's look like the world is ending over simple touch, smell, feel. Then add in the eye issues and it is all very confusing to a young person. Sacha and I are working on this as much as we can, it is a hard thing, it is hurtful to us both that our child is suffering from things he can not understand. Yes he displays simple toddler behaviour, and yes I run to him when he starts a melt down because we have seen first hand if they are not stopped what it can turn into. To most that see Jason "melt down" they think toddler or parenting issue or hey let that kid out of the bubble, let him fall, let him get hurt, let him get dirty. Trust me when I say we do all those things in the comfort of our own home where he knows where he is and all the things around him but in public when he starts to clinch his fist, turn bright red, and scream bloody murder, it is anything but pleasant and it ends up with Jason shaking all over and his mommy crying and begging for him to calm down. Crying is not the answer, it freaks him out more, but at times I can not stop the tears! I know I need to try harder at that but hey, we are all learning together about this.
Jason was a miracle from the start, we struggled to have him, many of you know this some of you do not, Jason should have had 6 siblings. Yes you read right, 6 pregnancies that failed for horrible reason's I will not go into now because frankly this blog is about Jason not the "what could have been", but I bring it up because of this. I can say Sacha and I are angry! We are angry that we struggled, we lost so much, we fought so hard when so many told us, just stop trying, adopt, there are so many children who need a good home. I was told I should understand that being adopted myself, and we, Sacha and I agree with that and had always planned on adopting once we had our own child. We still think about it now since we can not have any more children of our own. Then along came our Washington baby. Wow, what a surprise, and he was great! Growing like he should, no problems with Downs Syndrome like had been feared from past history, he was great. He came early, to early, and we were warned there may be issues! That is why we are angry, we thought we had suffered enough, we thought, hey maybe just maybe we will have a easy baby just cause of all the past issues. Nope just the opposite, sick a lot, late to roll over, late to crawl, late to walk, and now at 22 months and not talking well, you know, late to talking. We both wonder WHY??? WHY is this happening? How do we deal with it? What help can we get Jason? and WHY? It seems so unfair, so upsetting, so wrong!!! But we love this child, so very much, we love him when at 22 months he still does not sleep through the night all the time, when at 22 months he can not always feed himself or eat at all. When at 22 months he would rather crawl around the house then walk, when at 22 months he can not talk to us and even say hi mommy. We love him, not because we have to, but because in this world there was not a more wanted baby, a more needed child, and not a more prayed for child to come into our lives.
So no blame is given with this disorder! None what so ever to anyone, it is what it is. Sacha and I ask you all to love Jason for who he is, love him the way he is and to support us as we learn about this disorder. SPD comes in many forms, some are milder then others, some are more severe, and some is related to Autism. Our child so far is not related to Autism, praise the Lord, could it go there? Yes we are told it could, will it? No way of knowing yet, Jason is to young to know for sure. Does it matter? In some way's yes, for Jason's sake, but in the eye's of those who care for Jason no it should not, he is still the beautiful boy from Bothell Washington that everyone oooooh'd and ahhhhh'd over. We hope even though he is not the cute baby stage anymore you all still ooooooh and ahhhh over him like his parents do!
Thanks,
a heartbroken set of adoring parents